James Kane is still taking it all in. So much in so little time, and the best thing to happen in a while.
These, as well as the title of this blog, are examples of how my Facebook statuses have been since Friday. The most insane, incredible, completely ridiculous thing happens to spin your life in the opposite direction, and the only thing you can do is let it, because it's what you've been hoping for for months.
On Friday, I met a boy.
I had known of this boy through another guy (the one I've been bitching about for the past probably five blogs), but I'd never met him, or really given him any sort of thought. He was just kind of there. Well, the events of the night that spurred my last blogging debacle possessed me to come to my senses and realized that it wasn't in the cards for this boy I had been liking, and as a gesture of friendliness, something possessed me to message this new boy, the ex of my crush. Still with me?
Ok, fine, quick recap. Since around Spring Break, I've been liking C.I. He told me about his ex, C.M., and made him sound like kind of a bitch. C.M. friends me on Facey the same day C.I. does, and I find that odd, plus, I didn't want to offend C.I. So months of tortuous pining later, and I realize that C.I. is not, nor will ever be, interested in me. So as a way to apologize, I contact C.M. the only way I know how: Facebook. I send him a message, he replies, back and forth, back and forth. He tells me things about C.I. that make total sense, but that I was ignoring because I wanted to see the good in him. C.M. and I decide to hang out, so I go over to his dorm to help him do laundry. And we end up spending the next 21 hours together. That has never happened to me before. I don't really know what I was expecting when I went over there, maybe just some hanging out, possibly some hooking up. What happened surpasses both of them and is still shocking me.
We connected. I know, I know. I sound like some New Age, hippie freak, but seriously. As godawful cliche as it sounds, it happened. On some strange, deep level, this boy and I connected. Hours after meeting one another, it was like we'd known each other for years, and at the same time, we couldn't stop asking each other questions, dying to learn more about the other. I can't fully describe it, and haven't been able to since it happened, even to people I'm talking to in person, but some words to point you in the right direction might be: elation, surprise, joy, electricity, buzz, gut-wrenching, heart-pounding, and delight.
But of course, friends, there is a catch-22. I assure you, it's nothing too terrible, but I can feel myself growing sadder and sadder about it each day. This boy, C.M., was packing up his dorm room when I went to visit him. He was packing up so that he could bring all his stuff home with him. To Alabama. That's right. We met on the last possible day. Such is my luck. And even though we only knew each other for barely a day, we decided to stay in touch and make something actually happen when he comes back for school in the fall. Still. It's going to be a very, very long summer. I have faith in the two of us. I just hope that time doesn't take its toll. But if you ask me, Fate brought us together on that specific day, and Fate doesn't just do that shit for fun. At least, I hope she's not that fickle.
Well, now that I've proved myself to be a totally foolish sap, all I have to say is that I hope you all believe me when I say that I believe in this. Without a doubt. I can't say it's not true anymore, not after having experienced what I have, and felt what I felt. I know it can work, and I'm going to make it.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say.
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