that didn't take long.

Ok, fine, let's get in it.

For all my bravado and experience, boys, men, guys, whatever, in normal situations terrify me.  Anyone who says there's a massive difference between straight men and gay, it's not as much as they think.  Any boy who's ever been afraid to ask out a girl, it's the same fucking thing.  Just like the other night, talking to this guy on Facey, I told him that gay men want the same thing as every man (generally), and he said, "I don't think so."  As if what a gay man wants is not companionship, someone to depend on, a best friend and a lover all in one.  Because that's not at all what "we" want.  For us, it's all just illicit sex with no strings attached.  Well fuck me, I want strings.  So I asked him what the difference was, and he told me that the difference was that straight guys want girls, and gay ones want other guys.  Yeah, no shit, anything else?  Because what really makes what straight men and gay men want besides the sex of their desirables?  Not much.  And it makes me sad that there's a stereotype that says that I'm just supposed to fuck non stop 'til I drop.  Or until I get AIDS and die.  Sure, at some points, I've indulged in this stereotype, but what straight man hasn't slept around, or at least tried?  What makes it different?  Granted, the gay community in Baton Rouge is limited, and by fucking one, you're fucking about three more, but just because our options are limited, doesn't mean that it's different.  Straight boys fuck around too, and eventually, everyone wants someone to be with, and that's universal.  It makes no difference who you're attracted to!

This brings me to some bitchings about the Baton Rouge gay community.  They all are either stuck in the closet (guilty at one point, but no more!), and the others seem to make it their goal to be as obnoxiously, flamboyantly gay as is humanly possible.  And in doing so, they fuck everything that moves, thereby feeding above mentioned stereotype.  Now, I'm no saint, and my friends have come to lovingly term me "The Whore/Slut/Whatever Sexy Friendsult Comes To Mind", but when it comes to some of these boys, I'm angelic.  It's so unfortunate, because finding someone as mellowed out as me is a difficult thing to do.  I hope I'm not sounding like a hypocrite, but, in short, living here, it's easy to get laid, but super difficult to find anything substantial, anything real at all.  And it's like no one else really cares.  Which is kind of an awful feeling.

Other than all of this, good day, good week, but still, hoping something more will happen, or that I'll find some courage to make it so.